Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize