I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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