just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
