This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
