Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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