the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
