i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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