What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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