used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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