i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
