You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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