Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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