This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
