Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
