my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
there is puke in my bra ... again
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