is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
