The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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