Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
