when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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