I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Do vagina's smell?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
