Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
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how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
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While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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