On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
