Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
