Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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