i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
