This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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