Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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