I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
