i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
