people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
