i don't plan on having that self control this summer
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
why do cheetos always look like penises
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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