I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jger and an empty bed here Friday.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
