my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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