I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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