he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
