I wannas sexs uuuuu
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
