I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
