Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
