you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
