this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
