PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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