I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
