i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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