I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
