is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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