Where did you get a picture of my penis
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
