thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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