Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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