i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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