Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
