Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Barsexuality is the new black.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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