Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
