Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.

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(914): View more from New York

It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.

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(845): View more from New York

We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card

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(937): View more from Ohio

Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...

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(212): View more from New York

I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.

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(207): View more from Maine

is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

she compared me favorably to her vibrator

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

which one?

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