whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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