you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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