I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Houston, we have a squirter
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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