You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
he just fucked me for my cheese.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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