So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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