He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
