Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
