I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
