The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
either way he was missing a nipple.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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